Accounta-buddy Activate

When I think about my new writing project – essays – I am scared. I fear I will fail. I fear I will write something stupid. Or, worse, get published for it and be forever known as the idiot who said that thing. I also fear I do not know enough.

I felt this way when I started poetry. I felt this way when I was doing academic writing, though there was, admittedly, less fear about being published. I was afraid I wouldn’t be published at all.

If I had a nickel for every put-down, every outer critic turned inner critic, every snide remark, every eye cut in my direction, every person whose PhD stood for player hatin degree… oh I wouldn’t need this side hustle.

This inner turmoil of mine wells up at each writing appointment I make for myself. So, I have to hack the system.

Accounta-buddy Activate!

“Accounta-buddy” is a portmanteau made up by Dr. Birgitta Johnson (or at least this is where I first heard it), combining accountability and buddy. In my mind, you can’t have support without accountability or that’s not support. You can’t have accountability without support or that’s not accountability. The accounta-buddy combines the two in one (or several people) who provide the kind of accountability and support you need. Obviously, this works for any task that brings out the procrastinator in you.

Here are a few ideas about how accounta-buddies work.

Write on Site/Zoom (Working Together). This is as close to hand holding as I can get. I need someone in the room, even if it is a Zoom room, with me to ensure that I get my work done. It helps if I have to report out and they get to ask me questions. Quite frankly, I am too embarrassed to say I was messing around on the internet, so I just do the work. This summer, I have a wonderful accounta-buddy who keeps me on track. If I see her working, I work too.

Check-In (Working Independently). For tasks that are less psychologically difficult, I check in with someone. I tell them my goal then text when I complete it. Or, we have a set time to check in. I have had a steady check-in friend since 2020 and I’d say she’s very much responsible for how much I’ve been able to grow and learn over the past few years.

Positive Reinforcement (Rewards!). When possible, I think it is a good idea to have a reward for the two or three of you to celebrate your successes. When I was a junior professor, I was part of the Humanities Rock Star group (food and space was provided by my institution). We shared work monthly. I always made sure to show up with wine (or ask someone to) since we were celebrating whomever had submitted their work that month.

Negative Reinforcement (Consequences and Repercussions). Sometimes, things get dire. When I wrote my dissertation, I had a $50 check written out to a politician I vehemently disliked. A friend of mine had license to send it if I did not complete work on time. Listen, I had to graduate. Also, it helped to envision every word written as a fulfillment of my destiny to help create a better world in direct contradiction to what that politician was doing. Yes, it was that deep.

So, now you’re in on my big secret. I am not completely internally motivated. Quite frankly, I bet no one truly is. We all, ahem, get by with a little help from our friends.

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