Consistency Part 2

Last week, I pointed out that tips, tricks, and hacks might fail us. Sometimes, it is because we’re burned out.

If so, take a break!

No, seriously, if you are burned out, take a break. There is no stage where you cannot take a break: a day, a week, a month, a year, enough time to recharge. #NapMinistry #RestIsRevolutionary #RestIsResistance

Last week, I pointed out that the real hack is consistency. Borrowing from Noom and James Clear’s Atomic Habits, I talked about the behavior chain. Laying it bare helps you figure out where you can intervene to make yourself more consistent. The behavior chain is trigger, thought, behavior, consequence. Since we’ve already covered triggers and thoughts, let’s crack on.

Behavior/Action: If I was a betting woman, I’d put down a hundred ones that at least half of you thought immediately about behaviors when thinking about habits. I’m only saying half because I know how many skeptics I have in this audience. Behaviors are the third part of the chain.

Stop there.

Behaviors are the third part of the chain. That means you have two opportunities to shift your behavior before you even get to what you do!

If you want to change your behavior, you’ll want to bring into awareness the behavior itself. That includes working with triggers and thoughts. This is where the logging of behaviors comes in. For people looking to change their finances, they track spending. People looking to change their diet, track what they consume (food, television, news). People looking at their writing, can track their writing or their time broadly. You want to simply observe the behavior.

I realize this is a bit counter-intuitive. I want to change the behavior, you might fume. Hold on there, bud. You can’t change a behavior you don’t know exists. Quick example, I used to procrastinate in my writing by binging Amazon and Netflix shows. I had convinced myself that one episode wasn’t a problem. It was a “tiny brain break.” That one episode turned into two. It wasn’t until I tracked my time that I realized my Netflix consumption had an inverse relationship to writing. Since I know procrastination is not a time management issue, but an emotional management issue, I can interrupt the behavior chain before I click on a show, gently asking myself are you avoiding anything? If so, why?

I’ll emphasize gently here because I don’t respond well to being yelled at or chastised, even if I am both the giver and the receiver. Gentle questioning does work because in the long run, I’m not trying to develop self-esteem issues from trying to improve my habits. I’d become a better person but be too self-hating to enjoy it? I don’t think so.

Consequence: The aftermath of your action tends to fall into one of four categories: Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, or negative punishment. Reinforcement increases the likelihood that you will repeat a behavior. Punishment decreases the likelihood that you will repeat a behavior. The positive or negative refers to whether something is added or removed.

If you want to increase the likelihood that you’ll repeat a behavior, you’ll add a reinforcement. Positive reinforcements would include rewards and treats. Negative reinforcements include ridding yourself of work on the weekends.

If you want to decrease the likelihood that you’ll repeat a behavior, you’ll create a punishment. Positive punishments would include an unpleasant consequence. I once asked a friend to donate my money to a politician I disliked if I didn’t get my writing done. The threat of that check loomed over me like the sword of Damocles. Negative Punishments include removing something pleasant like my weekend.

As you can probably already guess, I’m a bigger fan of reinforcements than I am of punishments. One of my favorites is box-ticking. I have a little habit tracker. I literally give myself gold stars when I complete my work. Another favorite is – yup – Netflix or a good book or making my way through a stack of Vanity Fair.

Now, you’ve got all the information it takes to disrupt your own behavior chain. Let me know where you intervene and what the results are!