When All Bad is Good, Part 2

Oh, you thought it was over? Sorry!

I do not regret to inform you that my writing has not been decent as of late. These past few weeks have been spent setting timers and white-knuckling it at the keyboard until I hear some telltale beeps. When I emerge from the 25-minute fog, I read what I have written and my shoulders slump.

I do not erase.

I do not edit.

This is not some roundabout self-flagellation for writers. This is, to my understanding, writing like a writer. Most academic writers do not do this.

Academic writers are taught to write under duress. Every word has to count for our term papers. Then, every word has to count for the dissertation or MA or MFA. Every word has to make it to the finished line or the time spent feels like failure.

These thoughts create unnecessary stress and tension.

When one writes as a writer, one trusts that the bad words will give way to the good. I mean that for both the bad words on the page and the ones you mutter under your breath when you try to make sense of them. Not every word makes it to the final version because not every word will serve that purpose. Instead, some words’ task is to help you get to the more complicated thought.

I will not feign joy or gratitude at this process. I struggle with it in the vein of all hard things. To quote A League of Their Own, specifically Tom Hanks’s character, “It’s the hard that makes it good.” Even though Gena Davis still quit on him and the rest of the Rockford Peaches after one season, I refuse to. Besides, I’m still struggling with the disappointment from not meeting my goal. (By the way, my hot take is that she deliberately lost the game to Racine because of her sister.)

I suspect these emotions will fade, but if you refer to my earlier posts on writing emotions, you’ll know these are just part of the process.

Keep going!